Stalking?

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Edobean
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Joined: Wed May 28, 2008 9:35 pm

Stalking?

Post by Edobean »

I have a question/general opinion survey here.

There are a lot of people I made friends with/would like to talk to again at the con, but never got the contact info of. Would it be considered "stalking" if I looked for them on dA, on here, or on cosplay.com?

I ask because a few ABs ago, I met a cosplayer who I wanted to talk to again, but never got the info of. I found them later on cosplay.com purely through coincidence while looking up the character they cosplayed to see how people had done it. Since they left private contact info (AIM) on cosplay.com, I assumed they were okay with other cosplayers contacting them about their cosplay. They thought I was being "stalkerish". I wasn't rude or anything, but I guess I can see how they felt a little weirded out, since maybe they weren't a big con-goer.

Personally, I love it when people try to find me after the con and ask me questions (ESPECIALLY when they commission me <3), and I don't leave contact info unless people ask me for it and I can tell they're not creeps, but is it supposed to be a bad thing to do? Most people who don't give me contact info or hang around after meeting me say they thought I was "too cool for them" (wtf) or that they felt "too shy" and we end up being friends in the end. But if I search for a cosplayer to try and find them, or send a private message when I run across them, is that stalking? It's not like I typed them into google and spent hours looking for them because I want in their pants; it's just "Oh hey, I saw you, [question about cosplay]", but is that overstepping boundaries for a lot of people? I really don't want to sketch anyone out, but there are a few people who I'd like to catch up with, and an artist I forgot to commission (derp).
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DoubleEdgeSword
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Posts: 47
Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2011 6:34 pm
Location: New England

Stalking?

Post by DoubleEdgeSword »

Hmm...well that's hard to say. I mean I was pleasantly surprised when I found a friend I had made during FanimeCon '10. I even found some other new friends on DA.

Of course if someone keeps trying to talk to me every single minute of every single day when I'm online... whole different story. Because unfortunately I have phlebotomy training to focus on...
Ollie
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Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2008 10:45 pm

Stalking?

Post by Ollie »

In my opinion, the word "stalking" has become over-used and thus diluted in meaning. I think you're really just asking about common courtesy. Almost all community websites (cosplay.com, deviantart.com, etc) have a member messaging system.

People go to cons to meet other people. If you find somebody again on a website they probably won't mind if you contact them as long as you're polite. What that really means is that you should message them once and just once. Reintroduce yourself and try to get right to the point. Remind them how you met and what you talked about. Keep it short. After that, it's in their hands.

Some people like keeping their personal lives and convention or cosplay "lives" separate. Others are busy with school, job, or family. Some people will enjoy staying in touch. If they want to stay in touch, they'll message you back. If not, don't take it personally.

The main point is that you don't want to annoy somebody by contacting them repeatedly if they haven't responded back or adding them on every social networking site under the sky. Long story short, feel free to say "hi;" from there things will work out on their own.
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Skanking_Pickle
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Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2010 9:18 pm

Stalking?

Post by Skanking_Pickle »

Not at all =3 I found an Axel, a Demyx, a second Axel and a Neoshadow all from puttering around on dA and commenting on photos asking "are you so and so?" If the people don't want your friendship then they're just being rude. It's stalking only if you like....find them in real life or bother them every minute of the day =/ but a pleasant conversation every once in a while is fine.
Cosplay.com page- BlondieSundae
Deviantart- SkullsAndStripes
Cosplay Tumblr- The Cosplay Compendium
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