The A(MV)P Articles

This forum is dedicated to sharing stories and photos from Anime Boston 2003 or 2004 when the convention was at the Boston Park Plaza Hotel.
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dokool
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The A(MV)P Articles

Post by dokool » Tue Jun 13, 2006 12:29 am

So, at kiarrens' request, I've recovered the "news articles" I wrote to poke fun at the build-up to the 2003 and 2004 AMV contests. Each year will get its own post below.

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The A(MV)P Articles

Post by dokool » Tue Jun 13, 2006 12:31 am

The 2003 Articles

BOSTON (AP) - A crowd of AMV-makers has gathered outside the Anime Boston offices, waiting for the chimney to release a cloud of white smoke - an indication that the AB2K3 Selection Committee has finally decided on the finalists for the Anime Music Video contest. For weeks now, the chimney has been silent, save for occasional clouds of black smoke attributed to the burning of packaging materials, entries that were submitted on CD-ROM and other formats not permitted in the rules, and the occasional Linkin Park/Dragon Ball(Z)(GT) video, which usually caused a toxic vapor to rain down on anyone nearby.

The reactions of the creators have been mixed. Some casually wait outside the Boston Park Plaza Hotel, sending email home to family and working on future creations on their laptops, while others are considerably more nervous. A local cafe is supplying the creators with free coffee so that they can be ever-vigilant for the announcement, while a local bar is offering discounts to anyone who stops by to lament on how they should have sent in the dance video and how nobody respects their work.

Kiarrens, not only one of the few female creators present, but possibly one of the only linear editors left in the world, was last seen attempting to use a crude editing station created from rocks and twigs, as a family of squirrels watched nearby. DOKool, perhaps one of the youngest creators, was last seen polishing his guns and using Pokemon DVDs for target practice. He hasn't been seen at the Plaza for a couple days now, as he is thought to be on a rampage across the northeast, dispatching AMV-makers who use Windows Movie Maker in their editing and who think that doing NG:E/System of a Down AMVs are original.

AB2K3 AMV Coordinator PatrickD was momentarily seen looking out his window from the 3rd floor. Those with keen eyesight believe that he was holding a DVD keepcase in his right hand, possibly indicating that the master copy has been burned and that the announcement is forthcoming. However, an AB2K3 spokesman released a statement saying that it was only the TV remote, before declining to answer any questions from the press.



BOSTON (AP) - Crazed AMV makers have stormed the presidential palaces of Anime Boston, seeking vengeance, justice, and a list of finalists. The angered mob overcame the first wave of security, crushing several rows of SD Gundam models that were painted to look very menacing. They are currently swarming the halls of the palace, searching room-by-room for the enigma known as PatrickD.

The situation began very early on Monday morning, when PatrickD stepped out onto his balcony and declared that the First Disc had been completed, holding up what appeared to be a full DVD-R. He also made claims that the Second Disc would be completed shortly, ushering in a new era of peace, tranquility, and AMVs. As dawn arrived in Boston, technicians analyzed satellite photos of the disc, hoping to determine which videos were on the First Disc from reading the 1s and 0s laser-etched onto the silicon surface of the disc.

The mood on Monday was that of celebration and anticipation, until night fell again, and the next morning came with no announcement of the Second Disc. At around 10AM on Tuesday, a chant of "52 Days!" began in the crowd, seemingly a reminder to PatrickD the number of days that have elapsed since the deadline for AMV submission. At 1:42PM on Tuesday, the crowd suddenly dissapeared. Then, all hell broke loose 5 minutes later as a swarm of editors rushed the SD Gundam models, crushing them without mercy. With a primal yell, the AMV creators burst through the palace doors and entered the compound.

"The AMV creators have not breached the first, second, or third Pribnow Boxes. Terminal Dogma remains secure. There is no threat." said Elena, Anime Boston Press Minister, at a hastily-arranged press conference. She then dropped to the ground suddenly, dodging a crude cannon load of CD-Rs and MiniDV tapes. When the smoke cleared, Elana was nowhere to be found, and is regarded as kidnapped by the video rebels.

Reports from our journalists embedded with the AMV-makers have given some information. The editors have found a bare room that appears to have been in use recently, empty save only for an empty jewel case and a piece of Anime Boston stationary that appears to have been burned. They firmly believe that PatrickD was once here, and their search continues.

Said AMV freedom fighter NeilPeartnoy, one of the few editors willing to give us an interview at this time, "The time has come for the liberation of our finalists! Now, follow me, to freedom!" Neil then kicked open a door revealing what appears to be a vast warehouse of anime DVDs, and proceeded to spend the next 30 minutes hurriedly scanning through the boxes.

As far as the location of PatrickD, nobody is for certain. A press release by Anime Boston denounced the reported sightings of Patrick on a plane to the Cayman Islands as "hysteria and swamp gas," but refused to reveal his actual location "for the sake of security."

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The A(MV)P Articles

Post by dokool » Tue Jun 13, 2006 12:32 am

The 2004 Articles

On The Campaign Trail


BOSTON, Mass. (AP) - Delegates are slowly beginning to make their way towards this bustling metropolis of Red Sox, clam chowdah, and snarled traffic to attend the AMV Party Convention at this year's Anime Boston 2004. Although the Convention isn't to take place for almost two months, all sides are gearing up for what is to be a fierce weekend of bargaining, deal-making, and backstabbing.


RIVAL SIDES PUSH FOR CONTROL OF SENATE

For the fourth year in a row, control of the AMV Senate will be fought for between the two leading political parties: the Vash Dancing National Committee, and the LPZ National Federation. Neither side has been able to claim victory in the five years that the Senate has existed: the delegate count has either remained at a deadlock, or the margin of victory has fallen short of what's needed to break a congressional filibuster.

With the campaigns gearing up, both sides have released statements to the press and the public. In an interview with Bill O'Reilly this past Wednesday, Majin_g0ku_Veg3ta_696969, head spokesman for the Federation, claimed that "DBZ RULEZ!!!! LP IS TEH BEST MUSIC EVAR! VASH SUCKS!" in what has been touted as the most eloquent statement to come from the Federation since a five-page critique of LPZ-video makers was given the three-word response of "u r ghey!"

Millie Thompson, shaking hands at a local Asian supermarket on behalf of the Vash campaign, had this to say: "OMGWTFLOLBBQ!!!!ONE!!1!ELEVEN! Vash dancing is sooooo funny! I wish that all videos could have just him dancing! I want to glomp him and tie him down and..." Millie's statement was interrupted by somebody handing her cake and ice cream.

On Larry King Tonight, AMV pundit jBone predicted a tough race: "See, while LPZ AMV creators are the lowest of the low and deserve to be thrown into internment camps, the tactics of the VDNC are underhanded as well. By manipulating the audience's tendency to blindly vote for anything with Vash dancing, they are indeed twisting the hearts and minds of the American AMV-viewer to suit their own purposes." When asked who he'd be voting for, Mr. Bone replied by saying that he would vote for neither candidate. "I plan on writing in for the Lens Flare Syndicate of America. They will be eligible for matching Golden Donut funds next year if they recieve 5% of the vote. I encourage all true AMV fans to follow me, for it is the only way that we can break the two-party system that has enslaved us for so long."

AMV Overlord PatrickD has urged both sides to remain peaceful as the convention approaches, as well as at the convention itself. "The convention is big enough for ALL parties, even the independent ones that don't stand a chance in hell, to come together. We urge the Federation to keep the 'kamehameha's to a minimum, and would like to encourage all of the Vashes to leave your revolvers empty, as well as hope that any Knives will keep from activating your brother's supergun until the Convention has passed.




ANIME BOSTON SELECTS PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE

While the Senate race is certainly intriguing, all eyes are on the AMV Contest itself, and Anime Boston's selection for President. With ## candidates vying for 7 delegation votes (with a maximum of 4 to be won by any single candidate), Anime Boston is a crucial foothold going into the election season. In the coming weeks before the Convention, the AP will try to cover a broad range of candidates, giving you, the informed reader, the tools you need to choose your candidate.



FROS SIGHTED NEAR PARK PLAZA

Despite his withdrawing from the Anime Boston ballot due to conflict-of-interest concerns, it has been reported that several multi-colored Afros have been seen near the Park Plaza Hotel, indicating that AMV Creator Ashyukun may be trying to gain a following for future conventions. As of press time, there have been several reports of characters wearing afros, including Sailor Moon, Naota Nandaba, Ein, and Evangelion Unit 01. Messages left at Electric Leech Productions by the editorial staff have not been returned.

"TOO HOT" DVD RAISES EYEBROWS

In response to fears of several AMVs being banned at Anime Boston due to violent or sexual content, Dark Guyver Studios is turning this snub into a money-making opportunity as well as a way to reach the more "hardcore" voters. The "Too Hot for Anime Boston" DVD is rumored to be a 2-hour collection of banned videos and outrageous editing. The packaging allegedly promotes "n00d piano keys" and "hot rendering action!" Guyver2019, in a press statement released from DGS earlier in the day, has denied that the European version will include a "full-on uncensored rendering orgy" scene, in fact going so far as to say that "If it's good enough for the French, it's good enough for Americans as well!"

SOMETHING'S FISHY...

In early polls, Tom the Fish is believed to be leading by a staggering amount, with 85% of responses saying that they were "probably/definately" voting for Mr. Fish, despite knowing nothing about which video he'll be submitting to this year's Anime Boston. Analysts believe that Tom is still riding on the wave of success brought to him by last year's contest-sweeping video, "Fight!" Said one of the anonymously-surveyed registered voters, "We didn't even need to see Fight! to know it was going to be hilarious. I mean, the ballot said it all! Mortal Kombat! Hello Kitty! There's no doubt that whatever his video is, it's gonna be great."

FIVE BLINDED BY LENS FLARES

In what many have deemed a cowardly act, three AMV-editors in the past week have been blinded by lensflares, causing a police investigation to kick into high gear. Said Kathleen O'Toole, Acting Police Commissioner, "We will not tolerate this underhanded trickery, and are investigating several editors believed to be involved." Sources within the FBI claim that this is being treated by the Feds as a case of attempted assassination on Presidential candidates. From his home in New Jersey, editor VicBond007 denied responsibility while at the same time placing the blame on the injured. "If those guys can't handle a simple lensflare or two, how can they be trusted with your vote?"

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Kiarrens
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Post by Kiarrens » Tue Jun 13, 2006 12:40 am

I still love these. XD I demand more for this year!
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The Anime Boston Masquerade Staff Creed: "It's our job to panic so you don't have to."

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Post by BasharOfTheAges » Tue Jun 13, 2006 4:58 pm

I forgot about these. They were quite funny way back when :)
Justin Corriveau - Anime Boston Fan Creations Staff 2016-2018
Sakura-Con AMV Room Staff - 2013-2014
Another Anime Convention AMV Contest Coordinator 2008-2016

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Post by Kiarrens » Tue Jun 13, 2006 9:32 pm

[quote=BasharOfTheAges]I forgot about these. They were quite funny way back when :)[/quote]

"Way back when?" They're still pretty freaking funny IMO ^^
Lyndsey Zusi
Masquerade Coordinator 2015 - 2017
Cosplay Chess Coordinator 2009-2014


The Anime Boston Masquerade Staff Creed: "It's our job to panic so you don't have to."

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BasharOfTheAges
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Post by BasharOfTheAges » Thu Jun 15, 2006 12:56 am

[quote=Kiarrens][quote=BasharOfTheAges]I forgot about these. They were quite funny way back when :)[/quote]

"Way back when?" They're still pretty freaking funny IMO ^^[/quote]

I didn't have time to read them when I posted as I was running out the door. Yes, I guess they are still funny right now.
Justin Corriveau - Anime Boston Fan Creations Staff 2016-2018
Sakura-Con AMV Room Staff - 2013-2014
Another Anime Convention AMV Contest Coordinator 2008-2016

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The A(MV)P Articles

Post by Fetch » Mon Mar 19, 2007 10:17 am

Dokool, did you work for Comedy Central at some point?

If not, I think you should apply. They could use someone of your talent.

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